Bush 2004 Campaign Pledges To Restore Honor And Dignity To White House

"After years of false statements and empty promises, it's time for big changes in Washington," Bush said. "We need a president who will finally stand up and fight against the lies and corruption. It's time to renew the faith the people once had in the White House. If elected, I pledge to usher in a new era of integrity inside the Oval Office."

Dave asks

why do I feel that no[w] I am trying not to die.....
but in marriage... I will be trying to live

I understand what he is saying... when he talks of "marriage" ultimately he's talking about picking a hard line, deciding something is worth the difficulty, of value, worth giving up other opportunities. It could be any action with lasting commitment and sacrifice: committing to regularly volunteer, committing to schooling, or whatever. When you pick something like that you pick a part of your life. I've found recently that's almost too hard to even think about.

I don't know where the sun beams end and the star
Light begins it's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides what right for his
Own life - it's all a mystery
Fight Test – The Flaming Lips

So much of the time it seems like we (our group) value flexibility and keeping options open. It has become clear to me that can be a good idea in some situations; however you can't go through life and die with your options open. You have to pick at some point. And picking is hard. I don't know how a man decides what right for his own life.
How can I decide to commit a chunk of my life to getting a phd when I'm not certain of what I want to do?
How can I decide to commit to marriage and child rearing when there's so much I want to see and do other than that?
How can I spend my time doing xxx when there is so much suffering in the world?

But it is these decisions that make us who we are. As Tom reminds us

You make a thousand choices a day... do they add up to more than the sum of their parts? Does it add up to a cohesive, purposeful life?

That is why if you got married Dave you'd be trying to live, not "trying not to die". I think most of us (at least me) are pretty desperate for a direction right now, something to believe in, some cause or calling that is worth of our time and devotion and life above all others. Marriage is something you could devote yourself to, something you could believe in, a direction in your life, a solid step toward defining your meaningful life. But I don't think it's the only thing that would put you on the path to life as opposed to the lower road that we're on now. Not to say it isn't a good idea.

This is something I've been thinking about the last few weeks... I've been in Baltimore over five months and I don't like what I have to show for it. I've been thinking about what is right for my own life and I'm torn. My soul searching has led me in circles. In keeping my options open I've done very little. I hope to turn that around starting... now.

some of my friends aer ignoring me or telling me they're uncomfortable with me and im sad and stfuff

I like Rolling Stone... they’ve had some really disturbing environmental articles recently

"The management plan for the Tongass preserves ninety-five percent of it," [read the article to see which 5% they get to cut down] insists Rey, undersecretary for natural resources and the environment, who has led a three-year effort to exempt the forest from Clinton's roadless rule…Rey can be charming, and he's exceptionally well-versed about the issues. He should be: Before joining the Bush administration, Rey worked for two decades as a lobbyist for the timber industry, making it easier for his clients to cut down national forests.
The Alaska Chainsaw Massacre

Earlier article… Crimes Against Nature

My wiki is back up

i think i'll play hipster bingo when i go to see the shins in febuary at the black cat... i saw them at the same place about two and a half years ago... one of my first blogs!

OK... stupid kiefer... last time i listen to you... girl is actually not mad at me...
me: "oh, i thought you were mad at me, brian says i was hitting on your friend"
her: "don't worry about it, i'm sure she doesn't remember"

This last week just went to show that designing and implementing a robust efficient real time data logging service over a large half-way completed multiple-multiple cpu system is even harder than it sounds*. I’m so worth whatever they’re paying me just to be able to explain what that means. I had this design review go sour when I got, what we call in the business, a late in the game requirements change. Bleh. As if this thing wasn’t behind schedule enough already...

*also, I don’t know much about this sort of stuff.

As for what prompted the drinking game post...

Last Saturday this girl I’ve been seeing invited me to go to her friend’s party. She told me to bring someone so I brought Kiefer. Long story short: she seemed more interested in talking to her friends than me, Brian got on the scene with authority – leaving me to my own devices. So I started playing the stupid conversation drinking game which included a bit of what could probably be interpreted as hitting one of her friends from NYC and generally looking like an idiot. Awesome.
Anyways, I can’t get a hold of her since then and my guess is things are over unless I hear otherwise. That was not exactly the plan.

Memorable stuff:
Me: "good first date, high five!"
Her: incredulous, then laughs, "o...k"

Her: "hah, this is embarrassing, but you have a bugger in your nose"
Me: "do I make you horny baby?"
(well, ok, I didn’t say that, but how awesome would that have been?)

Me: "you think you could ever get married?"
Her: "maybe I could get married in ten years, because maybe in ten years I’ll change"

Her: "what was that play about?"
Me: "I think it was a metaphor... or something"

And that hour and a half we talked about food!

Too bad.

It all just goes to show that January always sucks.

Ever find yourself surrounded by people you don’t know but should be talking to? Ever find that your "bullshit conversation" skills are not up to snuff? I frequently do, bars, house parties, family reunions, etc. for these occasions I will sometimes play the...

Awkward Conversation Drinking Game!
The basic rule is: whenever you feel you should say something interesting (or anything at all) but you don’t know what to say, you drink and then try your best. and you can never have an empty drink.

This seldom makes things smoother, but it does make things very entertaining very fast (if by "very entertaining" I mean "incredibly intoxicated", and if by "very fast" I mean "really fast").

i don’t know what it is, but the last week or so i have been feeling no love from anyone i know around here (ok, not brian). everyone’s too busy or ignoring me (one for certain). this comes at a shitty time because work has been making me rather miserable. contrary to my resolution earlier this week, this week has not rocked.

alright, since when do i sound like an "emo" livejournal’er. shit.

this morning i declared that this week would rock.

just now i found out Vic Wooten is playing in three hours at the venue that's five minutes from my place. that's a good start.

While debating with my family about what a toddler, infant, and kid are defined as, we then tried to define "adolescent".

Me: "I guess an adolescent is like, 13 to... 19? Hey! You guys don't have any more teenagers now that Adrienne's 20."

Dad: "oh good, we didn't have a teenaged pregnancy!"

Mom points at me, "he could still have a teenaged pregnancy!"